Originally published in The Working Submissive | Carrie | Substack
Cover photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash
I started sex work when I was 24, not knowing that within a year I would be thinking of it as my career, with my waking hours fuelled by a fascination with what I do. I started writing when I was 5 and this has always been my main creative outlet, although I abandoned it for a long time. Now, I finally feel confident that I have things worth sharing, and I want to write about being a professional submissive.
I am not an expert and I can only write from my own experiences, which are those of a well-off white woman doing sex work in the UK. I don’t have any universal advice to give and am not as well-versed as I’d like to be in the politics of sex work (although I am learning all the time). But I do offer a niche service in the sex industry and have had to develop certain skills and insights to make it to this point.
There are a fair amount of resources available for other types of sex work. I was able to find advice on escorting, camming, phone sex operating and being a Dominatrix. But things become a little blurry when it comes to being paid to submit. If you Google ‘pro submissive’, it only takes scrolling halfway down the first page to stop seeing relevant entries. Googling ‘how to be a pro submissive’ mainly brings up information on how to be a submissive – which is missing a pretty crucial component. Compare this to looking up ‘how to be a Dominatrix’ and you’ll start to see the disparity.
I have a lot of thoughts about why this might be, which I’m hoping to explore through this newsletter. I’m also hoping that I can reach people who are entering this world feeling completely blind. When I started escorting, I knew very little and experienced a steep learning curve. I didn’t ease my way into being a pro-sub, either. I was offering submissive services from the outset, before even knowing that being a professional submissive was a thing. I have made a lot of mistakes along the way, some more traumatic than others, and have often felt very isolated in carving out a role for myself in this industry. ‘Isolation’, I believe, is a common feeling amongst sex workers.
To me, the ‘working submissive’ is an untapped concept. I’ve met both sex workers and BDSM practitioners who have never considered the idea of someone submitting for pay – even though there are plenty of us. The impression I get is that being a pro-submissive is controversial, even within these communities. This makes it harder to share information that is specific to being a working submissive and is part of the reason that most of my methods are self-taught through trial and error.
A big part of writing this newsletter is to satiate my own curiosity, by asking questions and trying to answer them. Another part is to try and share what I’ve learnt and to find ways that myself and other pro-subs can support ourselves and each other.
If you want to follow along with me, I will be very pleased to have you.
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